Lost, alone, and in pain

[HurtHus]

Forgiveness is easier to decide on, harder to really do though I guess. I forgive her, the pain and anger are still there though. I know I am a part of what lead to the affair and take responsibility for some of the problem. I know the pain and anger will fade. Hell it has only been a few weeks since I had proof and the ish hit the proverbial fan.

I am a very goal oriented person. I can sometimes push myself and others too hard to reach a goal once we have agreed on it. I need to be careful I don't do that now.

Oh, I forgot to say this earlier Sandi, but I have even just asked her to sit on the deck with me or hang out on the deck while I soak in the hot tub. I only asked about going in together after she suggested it last week and another night said she would and changed her mind telling me I could get a "rain check". I am trying really hard not to pursue or pressure in our situation.