Lost, alone, and in pain

[Clairee]

Thanks for another insightful post Sandi.

H & I are in this place. Piercing is hard, harder than anything I've ever done. H has fully admitted the A, accepted responsibility & shown remorse. We are in MC once a week, which is a tremendous help & blessing.

In reading, it sounds like you haven't truly forgiven your W. And forgiveness is key to piecing & moving forward. It's not easy to forgive an A & all the pain they caused you. It takes every bit of strength in you. It took me a while to reach the point I could honestly say I forgive. Forgiving isn't forgetting & it isn't letting them off the hook. It's a decision to free yourself from the pain. It's not tor them, it's for us. When I finally did forgive, I felt a huge weight off my shoulders. And with each passing day, the memories of the A aren't prominent or as emotional. I have detachment from it & can look at it more clearly & see how we got to that point.

Patience & time. I am always reminding myself, it took us 17 years to get here, it won't be repaired overnight. Hang in there.