I ended the OM sitch. I didn't want to lead her on nor was it appropriate as you all pointed out. I wouldn't have gone through with it. I still feel bad for even entertaining the idea. It would have caused far more problems and in the end, not done a bit of good.
I have a tattoo removal treatment this Saturday. I've had 7 so far. W would always be there with me. I have to drive nearly 100 miles both way. And the tattoo is on my cheek/neck. It's pretty painful but something that needs to be done. I got the tattoo over 10 years ago, absolutely stupid. But it's going to be a hard trip without her. Ug.
