New here.

[little1]

hey Little1,

apologies up front - I have only skimmed your thread.

I might be better able to help if you talk to me a bit. Where do you feel you are at now? What is your biggest concern?
--Right now I feel lost. I am so afraid that my the one thing I want most is gone for good. We had started talking about him coming home (he started) and I let my guard down and sstarted to believe, got pushy and he ran back. So I am back at square one.


I gather you have problems with detaching. I have been through this before with our dear Smothy and I can't claim to be an expert and cure you overnight but I am more than happy to listen and help where I can.
--Yes I am having major problems detaching.

In my case, I didn't want to detach. Even though it was hurting, that pain was all that I had left of my love, my M. I didn't want to give that up. I spent every minute thinking about my W in one way or another. I didn't want "switch off" my love. I didn't want to become a robot.
--This is exactly me.

I suppose the biggest difference between here (DB),other forums and well meaning friends and family is that people here won't tell you that "you are better off without him", "you deserve better", etc.
--I have heard this alot along with "just stop talking to him, he'll come around then"

One last thing - early on I read a comment on these boards. I can't remember who it was but I always remember the words. Two years after BD, her H lost in A, her "friend" asked why are you still waiting. "I'm not waiting. I'm open to R."
--THis is where I want to be.
This is where you want to be Little.

Take Care.