Thanks RD, Toots, V, ep0215, BT13, Jedi, HeavyD, Zues126 and Karma12 for stopping by during a time of sorrow.
RD, I have been hurt pretty bad, never tough that XH would do such thing and behave in such a way. But it is what he wants and I am nobody to stand in his way.
One thing is for sure, I have many other kinds of love in my life and I have a lot of good in it. My kids are being very supportive and they are very kind to me. The only thing they get mad about these days is that they don't want me to even consider to get back to XH.
I feel sad to hear their comments that they are better off without him and that he was nothing more then an abusive father that always want to compete with them instead of taking pride on their accomplishments.
Was I so blind for so long? My kids give me examples of facts that happen in the past and they say that I always tried to look to the other side and ignore that XH was just a selfish jerk.
Really? Now, when I hear their claims, I feel that XH has an even bigger problem then what I image.
Toots, I don't know about the standing or not standing for me. Sometimes I think it would be 100% harder to get back it that someone is still the same or even worse person then before.
And, when I think about a guy like RD, loving his kids, taking care after them, standing alone to an enormous load of work that these kids demand on us. I feel that I really would like to meet someone like that. Engage in life not only for himself, willing to look into himself and say that I am human, made mistakes but I will at least try to learn new stuff and become better.
For now, I decided do not think much about any R, including XH. I want to concentrate in my future and what direction I will take. I am also excited that I need to fight with life again and start building something new for the kids and I.
ep, BT, jedi, Heavy, Zues and Karma you all have values that are on the top of my list of admiration. Indeed we are the strong ones, and that's why we are here, learning, falling and standing up again and again. We all deserve better and sometimes we need to let go on the stubbornness and realize that the one we treasure so dear to us is a weak, coward person that does not value their own commitments.
I will stay in this board and share some of my experience, my learnings, my accomplishments. Giving others support during their hard journey too. It will be my time to say "LET IT GO" and that things will eventually be all right and you will be OK at the end.
And, you can all laugh, but I need to stay in touch with RD, who knows... maybe my trip to Ireland is not so far after all.
I love all of you that are so kind, my heart goes out to all that is suffering right now, at night I prayer goes to all your hearts and I ask for wisdom for each and all of us. That we choose the right words, gestures, path. That our decisions will be guided with grace and humility and that we will feel clean during and after this battle for our Ms.
