I had a conversation with Zeus one time about the line between personnality and personality disorder. I wish I had have pursued my undergrad psychology minors further but I gather from my reading and IC that psychs refer to spectra rather than one or the other.
So we are all blended spectra of all these things. Quantifying this is hard enough and then quantifying how these spectral characteristics interact is even more impossible.
I think understanding all these spectra is nonetheless an essential starting point to "helping" any one specific individual. However, I get tired sometimes of analysing my STBX. It does help, in that it gives me some answers, but I really should return the focus to myself.
I did fit in with her, so it is helpful in that respect, but there is a line where I have to leave it alone. Leave it in her sandpit as you say.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015