I hope you don't take this the wrong way. For all of these threads, it feels like you think/believe that if you say just the right thing, that there will be some shift in the dynamics and he will come running back. Like you're trying to find just the right crack in the dam to break it open to let the water spill forth.
My question to you is that in all of the discussions you've had over the last few weeks, has there been a single one that you walked away from where you were able to say "yes. I have a clear direction. I understand everything."?
My point is that forgiveness, repentance.....these are things you DO not things you SAY. If you intentionally ran over my dog and then immediately said "I'm sorry" and I say "I forgive you"...do you think I would believe you? Would you believe me?
I really think you need to stop focusing so much on every conversation and on every feeling.
