Okay here is the part where I need the advice: I stare at the calendar and I don’t know what to say. On one hand I don’t want to make the road back too hard but I’m also tired of being played. This could be another MLC game. I think about it for an hour and I text back and say, “I think everyone is available Friday.” Next text from her, “Ok I will come from work and stay over if you’re ok with sleeping on the couch.” WTF? Now I’m thinking I’ve been played when a third text comes in and says, “Just want to be at home on her birthday.” I feel I’m in a tough spot as going dark was working but how can I say no? I guess it’s good sign she still thinks of this as home.
I think there is more to this story than she’s letting on but would it really kill me to spend one night on the sofa if she does just want to be with us during this difficult time? I wanted to go dark and see if she’d miss us. I wanted to let her see living with anybody 24/7 is not easy. The girl she’s living with also works in her department so I wanted her to see her all day and all night when she got home. It’s easy to stay with some buddies for a few days a week but 24/7? She has a new car and I wanted it to sit out all day in the sun and the winters here in the North East are brutal on cars. I don’t want to punish her but I wanted her to see how much I did for her. She told me once if she ever had to put gas in her car she’d divorce me. I also wanted her to spend more time with this other guy and see if it was as much fun as she thought it would be.
I don’t think I can refuse her but I’d feel stupid if this was another ploy to stop by and stay over whenever she felt like it. That would be the opposite of what I’m trying to accomplish. It might be good for her to see I’ve moved all her stuff into the basement, shampoo and all. She might think I’m moving on without her. I really don’t want to file right now, I just want to be left alone in the house for a while, go dark even though it hurts and see if she misses me.
So that’s my story so far. I read the books but did not follow the advice very well. Killing her with kindness did not work. Are there any Wayward Wives or tough love advocates out there with any advice?
