This weekend I moved to my mom's temporarily. I was too hard to watch H pack and move. He said he was going to an extended stay hotel today and had an apartment on the 18th. There is really no need for him to go any where to today unless OW in moving in town. It's making me cray. I feel crazy for still hoping. And yes, I realize I need to GAL for me and not for H. But I'm still really obsessed. Any suggestions?
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
If I tell you not to think about the color BLUE then I say look Blue is a nice color and all however it is really not the best color and there are other colors out there. BLUE should not be all your are thinking about. You should really concentrate on other things.
Now have you stopped thinking about the color BLUE?
Oh and one other thing - stick to one thread until 100 posts Threads merged
In my opinion, the best way to stop obsessing is.....to stop obsessing. Do and think about other things! Keep your mind occupied.
As for your other question. No. You are not crazy to keep hope. Hope is good. I like to think about it this way: i know I would act differently if I knew there was a 75% chance, a 5% chance, and a 0% chasm e my W was going to come back. When I look at those options, the AZZORK I like the best is the one where there's a 5% chance she comes back. Since nobody has any clue what the actual chance is, I choose the 5% chance Azzork to be. Hence, there is hope!
There is an amazing vet on here, Job, who told me about a great tool to help with this. Put a rubberband around your wrist and anytime you start to think/ obsess about H, A or OW, snap it. That will be your reminder to move your focus to what is most important - you!! Soon your will get really tired of it and stop the obsessing. Just remember focusing on them will not get you to your goal.
BT
Last edited by BT13; 08/06/1503:17 PM.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Well H moved to a hotel yesterday until his apartment is available on the 18th. OW left N.J. and come here to Missouri and is with him. I am staying out of the home until he comes back and moves all his stuff on the 18th and 19th. It was too painful to watch him pack and move. My DB coach said it wasn't good for me to be so emotional around him. He said it signaled that H was responsible for my happiness which is not the signal I want to send. And it's ultimately not true.
Trying to let it go and move on, but also figure out how to grieve appropriately.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
How do I DB while separated? We don't have children so very little reason to be in touch aside from some logistics/legal sruff.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
I am at my mom's and H is at hotel (probably with OW) until he moves completely out on the 18th. No contact since last week and that was logistics. Last night he called to tell me something that easily could have been texted. He talked about a new job opportunity, asked about the cat, wanted to know if he needed to help pay any more bills. I was affirming about new job opportunity and tried to be brief about every thing else.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
I found out from my attorny that H countered my petition for separation with a petition for divorce. He didn't bother to tell me. My sister texted him a him called him a coward. And a friend sent him a letter. Now he's defending OW but apologizing for hurting me. I'm sure M is over.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
I filed for a legal separation to get H to move out while with OW. I was completely transparent. He had every chance to file for a divorce first but didn't so I proceeded with the Separation. Yesterday I found out from my attorney that H countered my petition for separation with a petition for divorce. He didn't bother to tell me. I was completely blindsided. We are living apart right now and having very little contact but he called me the other day all friendly to tell me something he could have texted. After I found out about the divorce filing my sister texted him a him called him a coward. And a friend sent him a letter. I did not want them to do any of that. I know it is threatening to him. Now he's defending OW but apologizing for hurting me. He keeps saying he didn't think the filing would happen so fast, it's killing him that he's hurting me blah blah. I told him and my attorney that I am giving up my petition for a separation and will submit a proposed divorce settlement. I realized the separation was my way of delaying and trying to hold on. I seriously doubt there is any hope but I would love to hear from someone who actually had a situation like this work out.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
