MLC leads to EA and WAW

[Ontheup]

You don't say how old you both are?

I see a lot on these boards using the term MLC....I think a lot of people use that term because they don't want to deal with the facts that the person they thought the knew could inflict so much pain on us. Well I assure you they will and do.

Know this. You CAN NOT nice your wife back to the marriage. The more you try with niceness, R talks ,begging, pleading whatever the more she will go the opposite way. She will see it as needy and pathetic. Women are attracted to strong confident men.
Continue making changes but and this is where we all struggle, these changes have to be for YOU. not to impress your wife. She may not even notice. Even if she does she may just ignore them. She may even resent them.

Know this also, EA WILL turn into a PA if it hasn't already. We are sexual creatures and we connect on an intimate level by having sex with the other person to feel connected.
Ignore completely what she says about swearing she has ended the affair. I can tell you im jesus but can I prove it? Actions speak louder than words.
She is the one having/had the affair so to prove to you it is over she is the one who needs to make all the effort to restore your marriage. Complete transparency, access to emails, phone, Skype whatever. No squirming out of any of it. She should be bending over backwards to try and fix the marriage. She should be begging you both go to marriage counselling to help. She should be apologising to you and anyone else who knows and that she realises she made a huge mistake and wants to fix her marriage.

If she is not prepared to do one bit of this then you have your answer.

At that point you should be seriously considering what your boundaries are. e.g what sh1t are you prepared to put up with and for how long
I'm more cynical than most and wasn't prepared to put up with any more sh1t than I already did.
The best piece of advise I got from an old DB member was just to let them go. Step away from all the drama. Your wife wants out of the marriage and another man? let her. You cannot fight against it. For some it has worked and when reality kicks in they come scuttling back.(should you even want them back) for me , my marriage is over but I gained back my balls and self respect and didn't sit around for months while my wife walked all over me and treated me like sh1t.
So I got my ducks in row, legal advice, financial and I left, let her go and moved on with my life. It is by far the best thing I ever did.

Unfortunately my friend your story is nothing new or out of the norm, you will see it hundreds of times over on these boards.