Your WH could have blocked OW texts, in my opinion he encouraged them. I don't want communication with my WH, I blocked his texts emails calls, it's easy enough. I don't have to have his texts pinging away next to me. Further he let you know of the flow, blaming OW. Which to my mind is exceeding unpleasant and hurtful. It's part of the triangulation dynamic I mentioned.
Does that make sense?
Does it matter if OW drama causes them to break down?
If their R stops likely there will be another OW waiting, if you take away your cake then likely another OW. You already believe he is cheating on her?
Their R is their R, WH is interested in having you as part of their dynamic. I think it feeds his ego and you detaching from it would be very helpful I feel. The "WTF" attitude will help. My WH tried this tactic with me, I guess he had three or four of these women in a string including a mouth (the fishwife) even taking her to my holiday flat by the sea. Impressing them, after his initial attempts to triangulate he hid his OWs and POWs. I just detached, stopped letting it drive me crazy, I couldn't do anything about it, his sandpit, his concern. It still upset me but I didn't feed WH ego. WH felt entitled to his "friends".
It's you I am interested in, your pain after 12 months of this watching and waiting. I can read you struggling with this. If WH did let go of this mouthpiece, would he be the H of your dreams? Will he be keen in his vows, loyal to his beautiful W, caring of her feelings, remorseful, worthy of his W? Or will he go another round with a different OW, or go back to the same one? Will he respect and love you, stay faithful?
When you can say yes to all those questions it can be different. There will be a new M. In the meantime, your life is on hold. Detachment is key.
So what are the answers to my questions?
Hugs
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
