I am at the point where my h is going to file very soon. He's said he is done, doens't love me.. We have been separated 6 months. I am confused as to whether I should just sit back and let him file and go through the divorce process and HOPE he changes his mind or do I have a conversation with him.. I want to basically tell him I respect his feelings, that I am moving on with my life but that I would like him to be a part of things and our family with the kids and grandkids.
I don't want to address the past and bring up marital issues, somehow I just want to tell him that I want him to reconsider but I really dont know how to go about that and I especially do not want to make him feel trapped and have me asking by a push for him to want to sign papers.
I believe he is a mlc'r he told me that six months before he left he had planned out his suicide and I was the reason. He tried to leave in feb 2015 and stayed another month. He has a "good friend" who he has been texting for at least 6 montsh almost every minute of the day.. Now I believe he is talking or seeing other woman because I saw a pic come up on his phone the other day of a woman.
I need help on how to address him and when? I have minimal contact with him through text. Most of the time he responds and we have a brief conversation He has recently gone to three concerts with us and breakfast afterwards. He traveled to many restaurants along side us to find one that was open. I kept insisting he could go home since his drive is 40m minutes away... He also just went clothes shopping with me and my daughter the other day.. We all got our ear pierced and again went to dinner. I tried to end the dinner date when I saw he was getting ansy to leave and he kept restarting a conversation topic.. I am surpirsed he has gone to these things with us because he told my daughter he doesn't enjoy my company. I believe he only went to please my daughter but I see that he didn't have to eat with... His behavior like many here is confusing. I think he's just being polite but I hope his heart is softening.. It doesn't seem like it when he still talks about divorce things though like the finances... I want to talk to him soon because his lease will be up in a month.
One reason I am hesitant to talk to him now though is the fact that he is leaving out of town for some psychology workshops and I am afraid that if I make a plea with him, he will go down to these workshops and talk about me and get advice from his collegues which will further solidify his leaving me. He feels he needs to be authentic with himself and he hasn't been our whole 25 year marriage. He treated me like gold and this divorce stuff is a total shocker to me and everyone that knows us..