thanks for the link V - reading it now. its hard too imagine my wife as being so ... what sounds like "cunning". But now that the "spell" is broken I do recognise parts of our history/R that were very odd say the least.
I suspect this is discussed perhaps on your abuse thread but is it possible that her abuse was a subconsciously activated mechanism of protection? This fits somewhat.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015