Just catching up, Cali. A few things stand out to me. Congrats on her getting a new job for starters. That's very nice. It also seems to me she is still developing a way to relate and talk to you. i.e. she seems to still start with being angry and spewing. My guess is that she's having difficulty with emotions to some degree and how to express them. She is learning though and so are you. Rather than the passive aggressive stewing you are facing it head on. Good job.
Hey AJ always nice seeing you around
Yeah, with this development there has been some 'testing' ... honestly its been good as I have not just taken spew ... not mean or nasty just firm and letting her know its no longer acceptable and she has been quicker at calming down ... almost like a teen trying to see if she can back talk dad and what he will do ... strange at times but I think I have been doing ok here. I am happy with my addressing it and getting it out, even this morning telling her I did not want such things to become seeds of resentment ... I did learn from the Old M and realized these are things I would do in the new M or a new R because those small seeds can be brutal if not brought up and closed out.
Originally Posted By: AJM
Keep in mind she has many more tools to continue to create and hone. So do you. Don't get lulled into auto-pilot, right?
I would expect that some things may "stall" a little. I.e. you're off to a great start and then things go squirrelly a little. Then back on track. That push pull dance? That's also part of things. She is learning to trust that you won't run (what's a guy got to do, right??) even if she shares her thoughts or gets angry. That's important as you grow together and as she finishes making the tools.
Yeah, we have had some slips and stumbles here and there, the difference is they are dealt with ... not just left like we did before. And yes ... she is often testing to see if I run, for various reasons, all her issues that she is dealing with, what she has done, the STD, her health and the recent one that she shared this morning of how good a man I am and deserve better than she has given ( I expect my "I'm the prize" plaque in the mail soon) .... all these things I have consoled her, without going overboard by writing her love songs. The push pull dance is getting easier for me, I am no Fred Astaire mind you ... but I have stopped falling on my face consistently.
Originally Posted By: AJM
She tried the focus on yourself coffee cup wisdom. That didn't work for her. It never does. But there is a time and a place to focus on oneself. She seemed to need it and still does to an extent.
So do you. It's finding that balance together that you seem to be working on and both of you seem to be having some success with it.
How's the faith walk going? How's your son reacting? And where are you guys heading for vacation? Somewhere with monkeys or northerners that dress as monkeys
AJ
Agreed.... I continue to work on me ... allowing her to process and work on herself, she has been doing well and much better from what I can tell .... she does make the DB mistake of pointing out her changes but I won't tell ...lol. My GALs are still going strong, Football playoffs this weekend, and then Softball picks up as that season ends. Teh Harley has been fun, bought a GoPro for the Vacation trip and have been testing it out with the bike, killer videos that I have enjoyed playing around with.
Faith walk is still going well (Thank you for asking) ... I was invited to speak again to the Parish giving my Faith Story ... I am not worthy but seems people have been inspired and the Priest feels its important for me to get the word out to reach others .... so I feel Blessed to be able to give back in any way I can. Hoping the new Bible study group for men takes off soon (Something I agreed to be a part of when I was approached)
Vacation plans ... If W is able to join .. pending the job and how they take it we are going up to the Redwoods, something I have always wanted to do ... have had this planned as a GAL trip for S and I then W wanted to be a part of it. IF she does not go I decided to switch things up .. save some money (since I now owe a ton in taxes-W offered to pay 1/2 of the Redwood trip) and take S to Nebraska to see Gma and family ... we will rough it and camp along the way, S will really dig that. Either way I am excited for the adventures .. both outdoors and both things I enjoy.
