Hello

[Vanilla]

714, please be gentle with yourself, that isn't letting yourself off the hook, it is saying time to change and work on myself. If it was a one time thing, then that is what it is. Some M have some interactions this way.

An opportunity 714 for you to learn new strategies with W, to discuss openly with an IC and to get the IRL support you need. The boil is lanced, the worst is over, it will never be like this again. You can stand and DB. Become the best you can be for you.

You have been brave enough to post about it. To acknowledge and not to justify so in my eyes you are 100 steps ahead of my WH. Absolutely, and I think the first thing to do is say I acknowledge myself as I was but I am not that person. I can not now unknow. In your life it requires evaluation not shame. Can I recommend a Ted Talk by Breen Brown on vulnerability and change. Whether this was part of your dynamic in your R or its substance, it need never be like this again. There are ways of disagreeing in an M and they are technique.

Now is the time to know this can change, you have turned a corner, completely. And it is very inspiring. Forgive and make peace with yourself. I have stood in your shoes, I was a reactive abuser on more than one occasion and I believe I changed it, so I know it's possible to change this dynamic. Reactive means I responded but did not initiate the abuse but none the less I did so.

If you want to post I am here and the wonderful members of this board will I know contribute.

V