You're absolutely right. I'm not going dark just to go dark. A small part of it, I'll admit, is to get her thinking about me, what I'm doing, etc.
I wish I had a dollar for every new person here who decided to "go dark". The posts usually go something like this- "I decided to go dark yesterday. Honestly I feel so much better! I emailed her today to ask what time blah blah blah" That is NOT going dark! Going dark would be moving to another state and cutting all contact. Obviously you can't do that with kids involved, the best you could possibly hope for is "going dim" which means zero contact except about the kids. You're not anywhere close to being ready for that, it takes a good 6 months before you're over your spouse enough to consider that. And as Azzork said, you don't do it to get your M back. You do it to help yourself get over your spouse and your failed M. Going dark has never restored a marriage. But sometimes the LBS has to do it to get off their WAS's roller coaster.
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I'm just scared that during that time, she'll move on.
That's because you don't understand how a WAS thinks and operates, but that's the beauty of DB and these forums, you can educate yourself Read this entire thread and read all of the threads linked in the first post:
Read this entire thread and read all of the threads linked in the first post: