Please try to stop feeling like you need to punish yourself for what happened to you a few years ago. It was out of your control, it happened and now it's in the past. Yes, what you went thru is very similar to what your h is going thru and you are a bit more understanding of what he's going thru. There will come a time when you both can sit down and discuss the circumstances of the why's, what's and what ifs. But that time is not now.
Continue as you have been, i.e., being a friend in listening and sharing. Do not judge or point fingers at him. He's still fragile and needs to know his home is a safe place to always land and feel comfortable.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
