Lost & confused

[Clairee]

We had our 3rd MC session yesterday. Counselor had us talk about good memories we had about things we had done together. It was really good bringing some of those memories into the present. So many we hadn't thought about in years. Things are progressing. Slowly but steadily. H emailed me from work today, he signed us up for a marriage retreat later in the month. Total surprise! I've brought these retreats up in the past only to be shot down as them being stupid or silly. So for him to sign us up is really a big deal. It's a 3 day overnight retreat & the dates couldn't be more perfect. Our kids will be on another island with their grandma the same weekend.

I'm finally feeling confidence about our future. The memories of A are still there but not as strong or as frequent. My anxiety is a lot less & I don't have the urges to snoop anymore. H is being completely transparent. If his phone beeps for anything, he's offering up the info before I can even ask. When he's typing on his phone or computer, he's telling me what's being said & with whom. He doesn't delete his history unless I'm sitting there with him & he scrolls through it to show me. All of this unprompted.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about him leaving again. I'm trying to work through that. And I plan to bring it up during MC.

Rainy day, a tropical storm is moving in so its getting icky. Hopefully it brings some cooler weather.

Have a great day everyone!