Going dark in and of itself won't really do anything. It's not like you fall off the face of the earth for a month and she comes running back. The key is that by going dark, you allow yourself the space to learn, grow, change, and also to not go backwards. If you just stop communicating for a week but don't really do anything, then you won't really see any change in your dynamics.
One other thing that I learned which is really key. There is NOT A SINGLE thing you can say to your W right now to change her mind. You can't convince her to stay. Your only choice is to REATTRACT her. So before you act desperate to her or talk about things, think to yourself "is this something that would attract Mrs. dys to me?" "Do women like this kind of behavior In their man?"
You're absolutely right. I'm not going dark just to go dark. A small part of it, I'll admit, is to get her thinking about me, what I'm doing, etc. But my main focus is just what you said, to work on me. I have a lot of work to do and I know it will take time. I will become the me that only a fool would leave.
I'm just scared that during that time, she'll move on. 9 years and she can just flick it off like a switch. It's hard to wrap my head around. I worshiped her.
Which do you think will cause her to move on faster: You acting desperate or you leaving her alone (as she asked)?
You can't control what she thinks. Might as well not convince her she made the right choice, you know?
