When is kindness enough?

[Ripe]

All right. I need to take a step back.
One deep breath. And another.
10 days have passed since the last time I spoke to or emailed my W.
We haven’t since said a word to each other according to her wishes.
Not even in the darkest moments after the bomb was dropped we were so absent from each other.
What happened in June, our temporary reconnection, should not have happened.
Now I can see clearly it was a mistake: my W was not ready or committed.
The only way out for me, the only way to get my sanity back is to do what I did between January and June: to try and detach.
To take advantage of this opportunity and time she has given me.
And now that I think for a second about it, I have to admit I don’t like this person she has become. She is not the person I married and she not at all attractive.
Maybe when the decides what she wants to do with her life, maybe when she starts enjoying life and the daily gifts we are given, when she gets out of her fog.
I cannot do anything for her right now.
I worked on me and she noticed, she reacted to the changes.
It was not enough because her desperation, her disillusionment are too big.
I will now keep working on me, but for my own sake.
I have however to admire her decision to come back in September so that our kids won’t be too far away from their daddy. I respect her for that. If I would be in her shoes most probably I would not come back.