Been reading up on you and could not post the past day or so.
Yeah buddy ... you really get yourself spinning don't ya? I hope you get where I am coming from, not trying to bash you not attack, but just reading you .... its dripping with emotion.
What do you really want out of all this BE?
What are you willing to do?
I ask because the answers to those 2 questions really are the foundation on how to figure out a plan to get you there ... REGARDLESS of your W and your M at this point because you have to realize that old M and that old W are not an option for you right now .. .I know that stings like a B but its the truth and the quicker you figure out YOU ... the quicker you can start doing things to improve YOUR situation.
Start figuring out who you want BEC 2.0 to be ... because that insecure, controlling stalker BEC 1.0 needs to be reprogrammed with a quickness, I do hope you see that ... start small ... all changes are not over night and its good to start small.
The first change I did while working on Cali 2.0 ... very first change. I made my bed every morning, stupid and small change that impacted no one but me. But I did it ... while I did it I reminded myself of who I was working at becoming .. EVERY DAMN DAY first thing in the morning. Over time, more changes, more reminders ... long uphill walk but I did it and continue to do it.
