Update: We have been "working" on our relationship for the last 4 weeks. We have had two calls with a DB coach and have come up with several strategies that we could use on a regular basis.
It might be worthwhile for you to have just a one on one with your coach to express what is going on.
I am not surprised that your wife does not want to work on the marriage. She is not all in right now and that will be a problem to move forward.