Update: We have been "working" on our relationship for the last 4 weeks. We have had two calls with a DB coach and have come up with several strategies that we could use on a regular basis. I've tried to initiate them on several occasions, but my wife has not been receptive.
Things came to a head last night. While she had her affair I built a deck on our house myself around our new hot tub. I've asked her to join me in the hot tub so we could spend time together just relaxing. She repeatedly refuses. I told her last night that it felt like a slap in the face knowing she was cheating on me the entire time I was busting my back building the deck and even sending the OM pictures of my progress and talking about what she wanted to do with the deck.
W blew up and said we were supposed to schedule time to talk about this stuff and she was furious that I would just throw something like this in her face.
She hasn't said "sorry" much if I don't ask her how she feels about what she did. When we were talking I asked if we could talk about what the problems were that led to her affair. She stated "I don't know why you can't just accept this, but I'm not attracted to you anymore." I said this was something common in long term relationships and usually has to do with something other than physical attraction and that if she wanted to make a change she could. We haven't spoken since about 10:00 last night.
I think it's over, but we already have tickets to go to Hawaii. I'm trying to make things as nice as I can for the kids and focus on me, but this is the worst thing I have ever been through.
M: 36 yo W: 36 yo S: 7 D: 4 M: 13 yrs BD: 6/14 (??) PE Confirmed 7/15 (4 months) The road to recovery starts now
