I certainly have had "A" spell broken. So much of ME has come back that I had just pushed away. I vividly remember a house-warming party I attended with my W in the first few years of our R. There were a couple of girls there that I used to go out partying with. I had once kissed one of them, but on dozens of nights out we were just like their backup if they got into trouble with other guys, and otherwise our friends, dancing partners etc. We had great fun together.
Anyway, I saw them at this party. After half an hour my W left and they quickly leaned over and slapped me in the face with a "WTF is up with you?" intervention. "This is not you that we have e known for years." I squashed this and every other tell tale sign. I suppose it "worked" for me to do so - as you suggest with your WH.
I honestly believe W was controlling me for years - but I am hesitant to believe that it was a conscious thing. In hindsight, this is where the R fell apart. She "ultimately" controlled me by "threatening" to leave the R. Although, she defined the R. I realised that the R we had was not what I wanted and when I told her 4 years ago about the sort of R I did want, BTW this was only ever a completely normal R to want, she was defiant because it was not what she wanted. She basically told me I couldn't have the normal R I wanted, and get used to it.
So I did. Effectively I detached from her, meaning that she lost control. She pushed me, hard towards the end, but she had lost control. I suspect she has control in her new R. She is spitting angry that she doesn't have control over me now to direct how custody sitch is playing out.
I am just so sorry for my little girls to be caught up in this disaster which I feel is due to my own shortcomings
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
