Finally asking for help:

[Solo15]

Just checking in. I read everything from Cadet's post last night. I've skimmed them before, but deep-dove on them this time. Really great stuff. I'm working on detaching and am going as dark as I can given my situation. The great struggle is the emotions. The loss. Some days I feel like I'm in a nightmare, others stronger and more hopeful of a future alone. I'm trying to focus my energy on my kids and the things in my life I can control.

I have a lot of anxiety about my wife returning to the country. I am worried about what will happen, but I'm trying to take this time to really build up my reserves, plot my boundaries, and work on my communication skills.

Thanks so much for listening!