Difrent's Detachment - Attempts at It, Anyway

[DifRent]

One thing WW said on Friday as I was leaving was that "this" (I guess meaning the tension that tends to ensue when she spends any amount of time with me?) wasn't healthy for her anymore. At the same time, she said she misses me and misses talking to me... which I'm sure is true.

And I'm also sure that this has nothing to do with wanting reconciliation at this point, but it does have to do with her feeling guilty and wanting to assuage her conscience. When we spoke on Monday, she was very friendly and kind, sounded like my old W. She has this split personality right now... sometimes it's her, more often it's the monster that possesses her.

So the last few times we've parted ways, there's been acrimony and bitterness - or even worse, apathy. My coach would likely tell me this: she needs to see that I am the better option, and whenever we part, I need to leave her with good feelings, not bad ones. I'm seeing this upcoming weekend+ stretch as an opportunity to do that, but with appropriate detachment. You're probably right, Wonka, that wine and dinner is not appropriate, and I will not permit us to discuss anything about the dissolution of our marriage here at home. We'll have to get coffee somewhere or something.

But it sounds like she's offering to cook dinner Saturday or Sunday, and I can't be rude if I don't want to leave her with bad feelings. I can, of course, have separate plans right afterward. I think I just need to be as pleasant and friendly and upbeat as possible when I am around, and GAL to let her have plenty of time alone here without me. (Of course, we've hardly had any time together lately. We've been quite separated. Thus... she "misses" talking to me.)

Thanks as always for the input, Wonka. Off to my job that I need to replace soon!