"Have the two of you had some type of contact every day? If so, this needs to stop. Don't use the kids as an excuse for contacting every day. People can work around it. Has she even had time to miss you? My guess is "no".
I wish my kids Good Night practically every night I can. Is this ok? I don't speak to my wife or if I do for a few seconds not even more than 2 minutes and it's only about the kids and my plans to see them.
What is this work around you speak of? Because I don't think it's bad to wish my kids good night, but maybe my wife hearing my voice isn't helping (my kids put me on speaker with the cell phone. My boys are 9,6,2.
Thanks You and any input and suggestion is appreciated.
Hold up, look again at what I told him. Did I say it was a bad thing to speak to the kids? I gave him specific advice based on his stitch and the problems I was seeing there. I was telling him to stop contacting her every day, and don't use his kids as an excuse to contact her. He has not detached and if he can't get through one day without talking to her, he may never detach. It doesn't mean it goes for every single person on the board. Whenever you are reading another member's thread, bear in mind that you may not be facing exactly the same struggles as they have.
"People can work around it". I meant that whenever people truly want to bypass each other, they can have a schedule for the kids, without all the "excuses" to contact each other every day to see what's on the agenda. I realize that is what a lot of the technology aged patents do it throughout the day, but most is out of habit or poor planning/organization. I'm saying in some cases it would not be absolutely necessary, but some LBS's will find anything for an excuse to stay emotionally attached, even their kids. Again, that would be for each individual to figure out of himself.
I may sound like the bad guy telling folks not to use their kids as an excuse to contact their S. People may feel defensive about it, but they shouldn't......if they see what I am really saying. I have seen people on here do it time after time, and later some H's would admit they were doing it. At the time, they were so attached and disparate, they would use the slightest child related excuse to call the W. Thing is, she sees right through it.
Does that clarify things better?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
