Don't know if I did the right thing but as you know I have been living and working from the spare bedroom (stay at home self employed) for the past years. The walls keep getting smaller and smaller so last night I went into the main bedroom laid down, said goodnight and went to sleep. she did not say anything but this morning she was really p*****ed off and I mean really p*****ed off sowe had an argument. I told her I did not do anything wrong to continue being exiled from the bedroom and was planning to carry on sleeping there with or without her.
We had at lunchtime 2 arguments more ( i spoke calmly) where she said we should sell the house instead of waiting for our son to finish some studies as she originally wanted and I told her ok. The second argument after she got back from an errand I told her (according to the ultimate loss) that she was right, we live in 2 different worlds and relationships. In my world I face bills and keeping the home together and in hers she enjoys doing her sports and concentrating on that and hers is the real world whilst mine is the fantasy world. I need to concentrate on my world and either she was in or out. If she cannot be supportive then at least not be a distraction.
I also told her she can live her life how she pleases I will not interfere, not kick her out as it is still part her house and I do not want to be cruel and spiteful to take advantage but I do ask she do the same. She wanted me to define stay out of our lives and I asked she only cook and clean while I pay the bills and such as she is not working. I also told her that I will erase her from my business acount and we will only share the general account so she can do shopping and such. She however took all cards and threw them away in the bin. She also told me that when I come back from a business trip she will not be here and to discuss wih my son how to organize ourselves.
I think I know what her next step will be and that is involve our son.
Have I done the right thing and applied the right strategy? I Do want her back but I am tired of sleeping in this room, having a nice day only to go back to it as well as still not have real tender moments.
She is all about time time time and while she treated me well she never makes any loving gesture it is just the SSDD. If we go shopping and I am paying she will continue looking around and then go the shop door and wait outside. If we are walking to the shops from the car or exit some place she will many times start walking leaving me a few meters behind while I close up the car or whatever and have to catch up. I dont understand these actions when you mix them with other where she does act normal.
I have this gut feeling she feels she needs to stay with me because she has no other options but on her terms and indefinitely until she may decide to become a WAS or WW?
