BEC, You need to calm down and breathe. We are not the enemy here. You need to choose your battles wisely. We can give you advice, but the bottom line is this, you need to listen to your lawyer, read up on the laws for your particular state and go from there. Sure we all can say to do this or that, but it boils down to what your lawyer tells you that you are allowed to do or not do in your state.
I am going to leave you w/some pearls of wisdom. From this day forward, be careful what you say to your wife. Anything you say can be turned around and used against you. Divorce is a business deal and one that usually has to be worked out w/lawyers. Both of you are emotional, angry and frustrated and trying to have a rational conversation w/her isn't going to happen because she sees you as trying to tell her what she can and can't do, as well as trying to control her life. What she feels right now towards you are her feelings and there's nothing you can do to change them. Bottom line, you have to focus on you, what you need to do to keep your head above water and how to ensure that your children are okay.
I don't have any additional advice to give to you at this time.
