I guess I cling to the hope that OW won't last so then the kids are hurt by stupidity but it also hurts them to see us fight! I no longer want to be attached to the abuse and I may be nieve but idk if he is hanging over my head it wouldn't be a big deal if I did not react he would go out kids would know nothing at least until I move out in ten months! I believe with time I can detach and not let it bother me as much I just don't know what to say to him besides ok! I guess since we are not legally vow binding married I'm not sure then kids would look at it like a wife and a girlfriend they call us boyfriend and girlfriend! Does this make a difference? I guess I feel like it's a boundary to respect me while I live there and not interfere with the kids and I! I don't want them to have to pick and choose! It's not so much about keeping her away from them as it is not confusing them and hurting them! For now I need to find away to deal with it peacefully make it a 180 and let the emotions driving me go! I sometimes wonder if I didn't make it a big deal and he didn't know I was fighting for the relationship it wouldn't be so fun for him! Those involve me changing! I am working on GAL so that means I can watch them sometimes and he will have to other times! I do not want to teach them to suppress feelings and put up with abuse I want to set a healthy reasonable boundary here! I don't want the fight anymore as that is a 180! I also don't want them in the middle so it would be very different if I was moving out I would t care it's simply I'm there still and they think we r together!
