Co dependency H Affairs O my Must DETATCH

[Zues126]

If the kids don't already know about OW they will at some point. As to the question of whether you should 'protect them', if the options are allowing him to emotionally blackmail you into enabling his A vs. letting the kids find out the truth, I'd go with the second option.

What's more important is what you do once the kids find out. See, the kids will be learning what both of you believe is right. They will learn daddy thinks it's ok to be married and date other women.

What will the kids learn from watching you? Will they learn to stuff their pain and cling desperately to an abusive relationship? Or will they learn that when someone treats you unacceptably you have to address it and take care of yourself, no matter how hard the road is?

As long as you try to control your H you're not protecting your kids, you're teaching them how to be in an abusive relationship. If you really want to protect your kids teach them how to handle a tough situation and get it handled!

I really hope you see this- the problem here is all you. Yes, it stinks that you married a guy that has refused to be a partner. But that's the reality. That's not the problem. The problem is that you are still trying to cling to the idea that there is a partnership here. You can't control him, and at this point you shouldn't even want to. 100% of your energy should be focused on putting yourself outside of his reach, emotionally, physically, spiritually. If you don't and you keep getting beat up, that's on you for not walking away.

Your kids already have one bad example. You can either be pissed about that and give them a second bad example, or you can walk the walk yourself. As I say...how can you be angry at him for not being able to let go of OW, when you can't let go of WAH? Seriously. One of you has to grow up. Do it for your children if you don't care about yourself anymore. But DO IT!