Thank you so much for your congrats, it means a lot coming from you all, you have chosen to come along for the ride with me and I am humbled by that.
Originally Posted By: kml
I think one of the most important things that will come out of this process for you, is taking control of your own financial future. In the past you trusted your H to do that, and he failed. From here on out, whether you reunite with him or not, the important thing is for YOU to carve out your OWN financial stability.
I totally agree kml, this has been a HUGE lesson for me. I won't ever go back to being dependant on someone else financially again. More so as h has confessed to how much debt he has managed to rack up over the past year - trying to be the person ow wanted, trying to be the person he thought he wanted to be, trying to live the life he thought he wanted. Its scary stuff and I am very conscious that should I decide to start afresh with him if that choice occurs then he take ownership of his debts from this time and I don't have anything to do with them. And to be really honest, since he told me about it, I have withdrawn a bit - unless this spending issue is covered in his therapy I don't want back in to "us", I can't live like that, especially now I am back in control of my own destiny.
Taking this position has really changed my headspace. It has made me settle a bit within myself. Committing to being here for the next 6 months the moving thoughts have ceased; I have just arranged for my belongings to be delivered from storage so my house becomes my home. I see that I can go a lot further job wise, it has given me value, financially stability, structure and future choices for me - suddenly h has not become a focus, he is now just a possible choice.
Thank you for pointing these things out to me - sometimes its easy to get caught up in the moment and not see the bigger picture.
