Progress... I don't even know what that is anymore.
I am taking it to mean that I am stronger, more capable and more independant than I was 10 months ago. 10 months ago I was a basket case. Now, I can just be me and I am OK with that.
I have no idea what W is up to. I don't ask kids about her, whatever they tell me, I just say, "that's nice" and move onto another subject. They did tell me she ran into a pole and screwed her car up and I laughed a lot, I saw the car.
The spews have stopped. The anger seems to have dissapated. I have removed myself completely from the situation and it feels... well peaceful. I hae a full plate at work and school is getting ready to start.
Maybe that is what "progress" is all about. Progress as in moving futher along with loving detachment. I am getting there.
This sounds like the deepest and truest meaning of progress I have ever heard Heavy. Stronger, more capable, and more independent sound like qualities people are willing to pay for with blood.
To me you sound like someone who's lost 50 pounds, the only issue is that you haven't noticed yet because you see yourself in the mirror every day. Then a relative comes to visit and they don't even recognize you at the airport! You've come a long way Heavy, all of us DB "sophomores" have.
Divorce Busting is also a great name in my opinion. All you have to do is look at people in our situations who aren't DB'ing. They aren't busting their divorces, they are getting their lives decimated by their divorces. Divorces are going to happen, and they're going to happen to some of us no matter how hard we work. The only difference I see is that at the end, the DB'ers are going to walk away with a graduate degree in self growth, self acceptance, self development, communication skills (thank you Wonka), and relationship knowledge.
We'll walk away having gotten support from people that are in the exact same spot we are and know the reality of our situations, not the "she didn't love you at your worst, so she doesn't deserve you at your best" crowd. The kind of support on the DB board is healing. Really healing, not just ego gratifying.
I'll take that over walking away bitter, angry, intoxicated, and harboring ill will for the rest of my life. Any day.
Big hug to you,
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
