Progress... I don't even know what that is anymore.
I am taking it to mean that I am stronger, more capable and more independant than I was 10 months ago. 10 months ago I was a basket case. Now, I can just be me and I am OK with that.
I have no idea what W is up to. I don't ask kids about her, whatever they tell me, I just say, "that's nice" and move onto another subject. They did tell me she ran into a pole and screwed her car up and I laughed a lot, I saw the car.
The spews have stopped. The anger seems to have dissapated. I have removed myself completely from the situation and it feels... well peaceful. I hae a full plate at work and school is getting ready to start.
Maybe that is what "progress" is all about. Progress as in moving futher along with loving detachment. I am getting there.
So that begs the question - why is this site called Divorce Busting. It seems the focus should be on Divorce Acceptance,,,right?? The whole point of this is not to win your wife/husband back over but to get it over it and realize you will be OK whatever happens.
It is acceptance that you will be a-okay because you've been on a journey of self-discovery. This does not mean that you accept that a divorce is the ultimate outcome.
Divorce Busting is just that....applying techniques and strategies to turn around the sinking marital ship.
You feel that you are not DBing because you are no longer breaking a sweat doing it like you did in the first few weeks after arriving here. That is what true DBing is...accepting your W's choices and you are no longer "fighting" against the grain.
This is when situations usually flip. Sit still and watch.
Hi Heavy, I think there is much focus on acceptance on the site. But only because fighting a divorce is more likely to expedite one. Accepting it and moving forward yourself may just be the thing that draws a WAS back. For they realise they may truly be about to lose you.
That may or may not happen, but of course if you truly have accepted things and keep moving forward, you are a winner anyway.
It's back to that counter-intuitiveness again...
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hey heavy I think I saw at the beginning of this thread you said something about people who have traumatic childhoods are more likely to have a MLC. My wife (soon to be x) I think fits that description. She had a horrible childhood that continued into young adult. She is only 35, but I feel like she fits into a lot of the criteria.
Also I might have missed it somewhere, but did you and your wife get D?
M: 32 W: 35 M 2 1/2 T 4 1/2 same sex couple W "unhappy" April 2015 D first asked for mid May 2015 2nd D end of June 2015 D papers in hand, just have to sign Start of piecing 8/20/15 A confirmed 1/2/15
