If I were in your shoes, I would not be around the house. I wouldn't participate in the charade of splitting up the family with wine and dinner. I would meet W at a public place instead. Something like Starbucks or Panera Bread.
Your home is your sanctuary and those types of discussions about moving out to another house needs to be at a different location. However, if you were to talk about furniture, you two can walk through and decide which goes with whom. That is what I did with Ms. Wonka and it was a calm discussion as we walked through our former marital house deciding which pieces Ms. Wonka wanted to take with her.
I think it's time for you to cut the apron strings and let W swing in the wind. Time for W to experience what life is like out there without you and let the OW grate her nerves.
