New here: Dealing w/MLC and emotional affair PA?

[kyrie]

He's always had depression to some degree. Last night he opened up and I did the validate & empathize thing - it was mostly about ministry related issues. He threw a zinger in - that he didn't have any support systems (i.e. me OR the OW) and so the depression is still sabotaging his efforts. I didn't respond other that to place my hand on his. He didn't recoil at least.
Later, he "made a move" to initiate ML... here's the hard part. I didn't really respond. So he got up (as he does when he's frustrated) to go drink all night in the other room. Before he left I couldn't help it - I said "I have all these words, images and knowledge that get in the way. And I am hurting"
He said after a long pause, "Get in the way of what?"
So I said, "of us. of healing"

Then after another pause, he walked away to fix his drink.

After a bit, I walked in and said, "What did I say mean to you?"
He responded, "That there are things which you want or need to talk about but can't". I said, no, we NEED to talk about them. I don't want to be negative or angry but I hurt. You need to know that I am hurting." and then I walked away.

I'm sure that was all wrong...