So the WW called me again today while at work. (As a reminder, we had an encounter - I call it an ambush - on Friday night before I left town, followed by a quick text "apology" from me regarding my leaving with a cloud over my head, and no contact after all weekend.) I couldn't answer it, and she didn't leave a message.
Just now, three hours later, I called back - again, so as not to appear rude, because it's not like me not to respond - and she answered.
Bright happy voice on the other end, but clearly a bunch of voices in the background - the OW surely among them.
WW: "Hi, how are you?"
ME: "Fine, I see I missed your call. What do you need?"
WW: "I don't need anything, I just didn't like how we left things on Friday, you left angry, and I miss you, and miss talking to you, and was hoping things didn't have to be that way."
I took a deep breath.
ME: "Look, I wasn't angry for long. You just questioned my work ethic. I don't take kindly to that."
WW: "I did not!" Oh, and then a bunch of things about us all having to do work we don't like, like when she was in Afghanistan. I let it all drop.
WW: "So, anyway, thanks for calling back. I know your work schedule is tight, but maybe we can meet for a coffee or something. Or... what does your schedule look like next weekend? Because I'm going to be home till Wednesday."
Home? On a weekend? And beyond? Clearly, the OW has plans that don't include her.
ME: "I've got plans, but I'm sure we can find some time. Coffee. Dinner. Or something."
HER: "Yeah, that would be great. Thanks again for calling back. Will see you this weekend."
So here I am... [censored]. I don't want to see her... not the woman (or more correctly, the MONSTER she is). But I was actually looking forward to a weekend at home. And now she's going to be there. Which means, I need to make alternate plans, I think. If I don't want to see her, or sleep in the same house.
But let's say I have no choice but to be home. And this might be the case. I will GAL for sure... but... in the moments when I'm not able to, knowing that she's all but moved out and we have spent exactly ONE NIGHT under the same roof in the past seven weeks... and we just might have a night where we share dinner and wine...
Thoughts? Advice? Counsel?
You know, every time I get the sense she's pulled back and will stay pulled back, she draws closer. Adamant she isn't "in love" with me and we'll never get back together. But, she draws closer.
How do I deal with her, knowing she's elbow deep in affair fog, and she "doesn't love me," and she's moving both into her new "hood" place but, more accurately, into her mistress's new house (I saw an immigration document today in our office where she lists her new address as the one the OW just moved into.)
I just know, friends, that I have messed up with validation, affirmation, detachment, and a gazillion different strategies the whole way through.
If you were in my shoes, what would you do?
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
