Your husband sounds like a very impulsive guy. Serving papers and then phoning to talk and see how u r do not seem coherent. I think he is going through an internal battle. On the one hand using the papers as a way of getting at you and then on the other his unsureness of really letting go. He may be having a PA or EA, doesnt really matter but if he was totally clear on what he wanted as well as happy with the OW why the interest?. I think he is harbouring resentment and anger and the more you seem to be indifferent to his reaction and pull away I think he will pull in. If there is one thing that I have to hand to the DB books and philosophy is that changing who you are into a 2.0 person by improving helps YOU feel better about yourself but also makes your partner sit up and take notice. It may not solve your marriage but it will help you in the long run and is defintely better than sticking with the 1.0 person you were until now and got you into that position in the first place.
