new here

[lonelee]

Bt13 and others agian thank you..
Bt asked about H unhappiness.. I think there maybe some depression\mlc going on. His job is very stressful he has high profile job and serious responsibility with current job and it has been just over 2 yrs .. so some adjusting still. We never fought .. prided ourselves with that however we also werent communication our needs wishes and wants well at all. Over the last 4 mo of dealing with this that has gooten way better. We had only touched the surfaces but never really got to nitty gritty .. I know for me I held grdges and resent ment. I would express that I wanted to feel like I wanted to have SR with him and that would make him mad. I wasnt saying that what I needed was more loving support.. flirting.. dating and such for the closeness that was missing for me. I didnt realize that for men that was their way of wanting closeness and intimacy .. so we both wanted the same things just not expressing things in the right way. That is something I am working on is better communication and saying how I feel not holding things in. Not that there is a lot of R talking happening currently but if something were to arise I know honesty is best good bad or otherwise.
There are other stresses in our lives as well.. we have D23 with a child unmarried with a loser of a boyfriend so we have helped them financially and emotionally..
We have D21 that has a drug addiction... very very stressful... thankfully she is doing well and is in recovery a much improved sit there. Thankfully
S20 went off to college.. only financial stress and the loss of having such a great young man around as one of our positives.. I wonder if maybe that was a big loss for my H too as we were very active with all of his sports in hs and then there were none.
My mother is elderly and in last year had major stomach surgery broke her hip and needed to be moved from home to NH.. very stressful for me..H not too supportive of my situation.
H brother is an addict living with his mother w/ a son following in his footsteps and is not in our lives really . So no brotherly support or friendship. H mom babys the brother and this causes friction. Both B and N have been in the news wth arrests and serious car accidents in last 4 mo my H is chief of police.. So id say weve had our fair share of stressful situations that have definetely added to our current sit. Im not sure how much he believes these have contributed but I think he agrees some. I also know that H has not been motivated in the last year to do hoobies.. exercise or go out much with our friends. Depression /mlc more than likely and I have been reading the threads . I am also reading DR. When I looked at all things combined A , stress level , his unhappiness I had to agree that his leaving prob would be a good thing for him mentally and that I hoped he would be able to enjoy and make good use of his time away.. where ever that leads us. H has no tv or internet only his iphone.. I suggested he write a book. Haha
Im sorry for such a long post but felt it necessary to share more per some suggestions above. I havent even got 1/2 way through the other ones. More to come. Thanks all.