Its a tough spot. BE ... just own that the choices she is making, they are hers ... granted these all impact those around her, herself, you, the kids ... and yeah it stinks. Again .... you can not crawl up into her head, push buttons and get her to think just as you would have her do. I recall the urge I had to hold her head and just download my clear logic into her so she could see what she truly was doing, she was in a total fog ... but ya know what? ... so was I.
This is where that detach thing we have been screaming at you for months needs to start sinking in ... your life is now in full tilt chaos. Those same kids you are concerned about ... well BE they need you now more than ever, they need a father who will stand out on the top deck and continue to sail this ship trapped in a storm safely to shore .... your W is sailing her own ship .. maybe she hits the rocks .. maybe she is lost at sea .. maybe she navigates to the same place you need to go ... who knows, its this critical point BE that you captain your own ship. Make sure she is sea worthy ... its a rough ride ... try to start small, if it does not concern your ship ... let it go.
This is the tough part ... but there are clearer skies ahead I assure you.
