Slept well, but woke up with the usual roller coaster of feelings for about an hour. Not quite as severe today. The loneliness is the worst of it. Even with the kids around, sometimes it really hits me. I fired off a few TMs to friends and family, and after getting a few replies don't feel nearly as bad. I'm hoping that when I start a new job and get into an office with other people, it will keep my mind occupied and make the days go by faster. I was able to schedule a last minute lunch with a good buddy today, so heading out shortly for that. Have my volunteering with a local youth group tonight and that's usually a good time as well. Just feel like I'm going through the motions most days though. I'm ready to start feeling normal. Sometimes I wish I could just be the friend my W wants me to be, but I know I can't do it, at least not now. Maybe years down the road, after I've totally given up any hope of us working things out as a couple. I don't know. Just hate that it has to be this way.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
