Hello

[714Dad]

She called yesterday to talk about D6 party. Again, very cut and dry. Not cold, but just business-like.

I was calm. She seems to be reposition herself to try and get more custody when it comes to it. Comments like "I really think I should have them more, because you have so much stuff to get in order." or "There are some issues that I don't want them to be around - that's one of the reasons we're going through this." etc. (referring to depression or anger). i think i argued slightly, but then changed to say that I would do a lot of things differently if I could (per Starsky's suggestion).

she mentioned how easy it was for me because of everything she had set up here to make the house a home, and that i did basically none of it with her. This is where i protested and said that we did it together, to which she asked for examples. I mentioned moving furniture for her, or modifying furniture. stuff like that. she just discounted it all. she said everything in their room, the linens she collected over time, the whole house as it is was her doing. which i don't understand because she said at least twice how much she felt like it wasn't her home, she said she hated living here several times, etc. so again, there's lots of story changes as it moves along.

In two weeks i take the girls for a small family vacation, she was supposed to come originally of course, but now she said she was going to use that time to come to the house and start packing up what was hers, etc. My heart was clenching, but i said in an upbeat voice, "I was going to suggest that."

She mentioned making an doctor's appointment for the girls and about something with D3 that "she'd asked me lot's of times to talk to the doctor about and I never did." I reminded her to make sure that it has been a year or more since D6 checkup so that insurance would not double bill and she replied, "I know that, I understand insurance." in a slightly confrontational way.

the phone dropped the call three times and she called back each time. i was panicked by the end but didn't let it come through.

she tried to talk about the house saying, "i just don't see how you can afford it, and how you'll buy me out of my share." and i just deflected to the mediator saying we'd talk about it then. i'm really nervous for that meeting, because she's going to flip out when she sees how much child support, etc. she will likely be required to pay. She'll think it's me trying to force her to stay or to get revenge on her or something else. so that is really making me anxious. i plan, first thing in the mediator meeting, to bring up the idea of boundaries and that if one spouse yells at the other there needs to be a cooling off period - and that threats don't work (i have no problem going to court!, etc.).

does anyone know the average time that spousal support is paid? Like how long it takes the unemployed LBS to find a job if they didn't have one? what is a usual court mandated time for child support to continue? again, i feel like the 1950s housewife set adrift with no map in the middle of the ocean. there are plenty of things i can do, but nothing is lined up in front of me. i know, it is so attractive to the opposite sex.

so yeah. fun times.