BEC, Your life isn't over, so start pulling your big boy pants up, straighten that spine and put your thinking cap on. Yes, your marriage is over, per your wife, but that doesn't mean your relationship w/your children will end or the world is going to stop turning. Your life will continue as it has been for the last few months w/you seeing your children and yes, paying your wife child support and maybe some alimony until she can get a full time job. Nothing's changed. She's threatened divorce for a very long time, so she's filed or so she says.
Yes, divorce hurts and it's something none of us want to see happen, but in many cases it does and when it does, that gives us a wake up call that it's time to put the focus back on us and our children and leave the spouse alone totally. This is YOUR opportunity to now truly grow and learn about yourself and do the things that YOU need to do for YOU. One thing, you feel really down and out about the divorce...do not allow your heart and/or your emotions control how you feel about the financial end of the divorce. This is usually where many give away everything to the spouse...don't do it. You will need to be all businesslike now and ensure that you aren't going over and beyond what is expected of you in paying support to her. Listen to your lawyer. Do not continue to have talks w/her. This only justifies even more why she's doing what she's doing. As they say around here STFU!
Now, BEC, it's time to take care of YOU. Bandage your wounds and meet up w/your lawyer to discuss how to handle this situation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
