Difrent's Detachment - Attempts at It, Anyway

[DifRent]

Thanks PP and Bob... hugs back to both of you. I know you guys have my back. I just wish I had found a job that lit my fire. I could really use something that excites me and engages my mind right now, gets me out of the house, has me building relationships with other people. I really didn't need something else to bring me down. Going to focus on finding other options this week, even perhaps other options within the company. The income matters, but the other benefits of a job matter more right now, I think.

Was listening to a course this weekend, recommended by a friend here on the board, where it was suggested that in dealing with a WW, particularly if she is in MLC as I believe my WW might be, remember that there are two entities there: the woman you love, and the monster. He even referred to the monster as a "he," a separate entity hell bent on destroying your marriage and family. I have found this helpful, as when I saw her the other day, she repulsed me. But when I saw a photo of her at my mom's from recently happier days, I missed her so much.

It's only been three months (as of yesterday) since the BD - incredible to think how much has happened since then, and how headlong she has thrown herself into all things related to the OW. That fact makes me think things must truly be over between us. But it doesn't matter one way or the other. I need to focus on me, and although depression has got some kind of hold on me, it's not really about her anymore. It's about the mess she's left me with. And I guess that's some kind of progress.

Have a great Monday, everyone.