Five months in ...

[late30s]

So I am a bit confused. I have done well with little to no contact for nine days. She has been calling and texting me far more often. She keeps telling me that she is trying to ease herself back into a relationship with me. It has gone far enough that she has been calling me, begging to see me. She tells me that she misses me and that she needs me to continue to be her refuge.

In the correct context, all of these things are wonderful, many things I have been desperate to hear, but I find myself apprehensive. First she still lives with OM, which tells me a lot. Believe none of what they say and only half of what they do ... With that mindset, I feel like she is simply telling me what I want to hear in order to keep me around, but on the other side of it, she has been sharing some of her reflecting with me. She misses her life, she thought this would make her happy but she is more miserable than when she left. She misses the kids. She misses me. Before, she and OM didn't spend a lot of time together, now that she is around him all the time, he is driving her crazy. She's tired of being miserable and isn't sure how to fix it. (I didn't offer any advice ... shelived Mr. Fix-it a little, yay me!)

Currently I think taking the same approach I took last week is the best option, but I'm not sure how to handle it when she starts begging for my attention ... Last week I went and picked her up and brought along a STFU smoothie. She talked a lot, I listened. I learned a lot (if she was being truthful).

On the MLC stuff, I just read through my post and realized I didn't post much of what happened to lead me to this line of thinking.

1. When she first left, she tried to empty our tax return, she got about half of it, but I caught wind of it and withdrew the rest. She screamed at me for some time that I owed her the money, I told her I needed it to take care of the kids. She left the kids with me, but wanted to take all the money with her. Since she left 23 weeks ago, she has given me $375 to help with the kids. Even told me in May that she was not paying anymore until she is ordered by the court to so.

2. She has always had a good code of ethics, prior to all of this, didn't make a habit of lying, never stole, cheated etc. Since she left, she rarely tells the truth, she has swindled some of her friends into giving her money, put the kids on the back burner. Drinks HEAVILY.

3. She used to have a strong work ethic, but in the past nine months I have watched her quit two jobs with no notice and get fired from another for theft / being drunk on the job. She just started a new job this week and has already called in "sick".

4. She normally hates confrontation, yet since this all started she spews total venom at me. (Getting much better with not doing this now)

It's strange to watch it all. She essentially has less responsibility now than she did before we started dating (she was 17 when we started dating). She has even gone so far as to tell me that the only reason she is looking for work is because I haven't dropped the child support issue. This make no sense to me. In all the years I've known her, she never wanted our kids to want for anything, now she is trying to make me feel bad because she has to work to support her kids. o.O

***Lame Joke***

So I used to sell vacuum cleaners, the only lesson that really stuck with me was they really suck ...