What I am concerned with is I did all of the wrong things for almost a year before I found this site. I have a year of doing all the wrong things before me not just months! Something I know I can not take back or change. I know all I can do is move forward but I have a lot of catching up to do! I wish to be in a better place also. I know only I can control that. I am just having so much trouble taking that control back. I remember being so happy on my own three years ago and then I get back together with the man I thought was the man of my dreams since I was 14 and its been he!! to say the least. I want this R more than anything but again ONLY if we can both be happy and healthy. I am also having an emotional down day. I do not really have a reason to I just don't even feel like talking to him or anyone for that matter. Just curl up in a ball for a while
