PigPen's Dropped Rope - WAW and Waiting (4)

[Zues126]

Hey PigPen, just wanted to let you know you're on a good path. I know you've been a fan of mine, I want to say thanks for that. I don't need followers, but it's pretty profound to be part of the support on this board.

I just posted on 4mykids thread talking about timelines, and I just realized you're kind of in the second stage of your journey (the first stage being when we are still clinging to a lot of hope that our sitch will turn around).

It's both tougher and easier. It's easier because the worst is probably over. You've said yourself you wouldn't go back, and that you're grateful for your sobriety, and that you're proud of yourself for the first time in a while (AS ARE WE!). But it's also harder...because as addicts, we like to get what we want when we want it! And when we discover that we can DB until the cows come home and it may be too late for WAS to care, and that we might not live happily ever after...it can be tough. I mean, when you first start staying sober you're like, "Yeah, I'll just live in reality, I can do this!", but that's because you forget how tough reality can be.

So I know it will be really hard on you at times right now. The worst is over in terms of sleepless nights, inability to breathe, etc...but now comes the hangover...the long aftermath after the initial hopes and enthusiasm die off, and the reality kicks in that there is going to be a lot of pain to work through, and some permanent losses, and some grey skies. God bless, PigPen, I've never been through anything so hard.

I guess I'm writing this because while I'm not worried about you relapsing, or disappearing off the boards, or anything like that...shoot, you haven't said you feel any of these ways, this is just me projecting...but I really wanted to make sure you knew that I know how hard it is, and that I'm really rooting you on. I don't just want you to become an H only a fool would leave. I want you to become so solid on your own feet you would think twice before R with a woman that left you (read my last post on Sandi's thread).

Keep going!