DBing still......WW still (Part 2)

[HurtJef]

Here is the link to pt 1

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2584639#Post2584639

[HurtJef]

So i am sitting here thinking about my IC session today.

My therapist is telling me to move on and divorce. She says that tough love won't change her and only make her think that I am a bigger Ahole.

She also suggested that I try to find a date.

Starting to wonder if I should find a different therapist. Has anyone else had this experience?

[Azzork]

Have you read DR? There's a section on therapists and how they bias their advice based on their beliefs and experiences.

There's no rule that says you can't change therapists.

[HurtJef]

Yes I have read DR a number of times. I have been seeing this therapist for 6 months and today was the first time that she made those opinions known.

[shotgun]

My therapist has also recommended that I file for divorce. I am leaning very heavily in that direction but still am not certain. Her advise has been very good so far. Just not sure..........

[Defacto]

Jeff,
No IC, no DB message board pro, no one can tell you it's over until you decide it's over. This is your life and your family. What do you want?

[HurtJef]

I do not want a divorce but will not stand in my wife's way if that is the road she chooses. My therapist opinion doesn't sway me but I was just wondering if other DBers have run into this.

[shotgun]

You have come a long way HurtJef. Nice to see you becoming so strong. My therapist suggested to me that my marriage was over several months ago. I was not ready to admit it however. We must all walk our path!

[HurtJef]

Thanks shotgun

I am really feeling better most days. I still spiral from time to time but I feel strong when my kids are with me. You would think it would be the opposite b/c the WW is out doing whatever but I do get lonely when the kids are gone. I have been GALing more and more which helps immensely.

I just keep praying and reading. Actually I have gotten to the point where the thought of her ever coming back frightens me a little. I have no expectations but she is not the good hearted girl I fell in love with any longer.

I spend more time working on myself than I ever have.

[shotgun]

Those words are inspirational to me. I no longer wish my wife back. In the words of her therapist, she has had an awakening and she will never be the same. To bad she awakened to a narcissist personality. Funny thing is that when I reached this point, W behavior improved dramatically.