Yesterday, I was able to speak to my boys again to wish them good night and sweet dreams. They're on a mini vacation before school starts. I was so happy and I can tell the boys were happy to speak to me too but missed me so much as I do them.
As I was saying good bye to my oldest son (9) he says hang on Dad, Mom wants to speak to you. I hang on a a few seconds and she comes on. She says hi and how are you? I was so happy she is inquiring, but then I quickly realized that I had to do the "as if" I'm doing well and ok, but to keep it short. I did exactly that without asking her how she was. I proceeded to end the conversation and we hung up.
I wanted to ask her how she was doing but knew better. I can tell that she was taken off guard and perhaps a bit dismayed by me keeping my answer short and suddenly ending the call. I don't know if this is a good thing in terms standing strong somewhat and unsure how she will perceive this and how it will affect her thinking of me.
It [censored], but moreover, it down right hurts to my core!
In any event, my heart doesn't want her to be hurting, but I know that it may be a necessary evil for her to get out that so called fog in her mind. I so love this bitter cold woman that has left me. What a senseless fool I had been to have even allowed circumstances and situations to lead to this for my family.
So with a broken heart and battered being...I FDU declare staring today onward I will become a better "Man for ME and MY BOYS".
If it's Gods will and with them help of my DB Family then shall reconciliation be made and my Family be restored.
