Continuing Limbo

[PeterV2]

I don't want to move because I like it here and if anyone is going to it'll have to be her.

W wants to keep the RH for a while longer when it starts turning a profit which should be in a month or two. I'm all for just selling it and getting our money out of it. It's been an albatross around our necks for too long. I think she thinks she can extract money out of the place once it turns a profit. She doesn't realize that my company has been subsidizing hers for almost two years, and needs to get reimbursed first. When I presented that information to her she balked at it saying that money's been paid and it's history. I even presented her with the invoice which she put a stroke through to void it.

And she's all chirpy and smiley most of the time around me. Cooking for me and talking about plans for our future.

But occasionally she goes on a rant about some of my personality traits. When she starts on those I will shut her down saying I will not be spoken to in a disrespectful tone of voice.

She's always going on about how people compliment her on her looks and her abilities. She's so insecure she keeps repeating these stories. And this insecurity is very deeply engrained. I saw it when we first met. I thought that her years of enduring abusive relationships had caused it or at least had exacerbated it, and that I could provide her the support and love to help her heal herself. But I'm not sure how aware she is of this trait. I'm not her psychologist so I'm not sure if I should discuss that with her. It may just make her resent me more. So I just validate her.

But frankly, I would be ok without her in my life. I really don't want that, but I'm not going to live a loveless, sexless marriage until I'm living in my own retirement home. So, yes, I would be just fine without her in my life. I would prosper and be happy and maybe someone else would come along. I have so much love to give and it's now unrequited.

I think selling the RH will be a turning point. Once a whack of money is sitting on the table I'll see what sort of person she really is. When my first marriage ended I gave my ex more than she was entitled to, just to avoid a lengthy court battle which I felt would have been hard on my children. My current W is still angry that I did that, and thinks it was because I wanted my ex back (not the case), and she still brings it up - even brought it up yesterday during our talk. So if now W is looking at the same sitch I think she will feel entitled to more than her fair share. I could see her spewing about it the same way my first wife spewed about it. But this time I have a full closet of spew jackets from the Starksy Collection.